stuff you
dont see

concept || 2018-2021

to see everything at once is a dream of me.

im not talking about places. not about being carelessly happy. it is not about me and not about you. if i would have seen everything it would have been different. no conflict. no distress but getting along with each other. we would also know where we come from.

but – no one can truly understand you. not even yourself. i can not be you and you can not be me. thats the way it just is. trying to change that does not bring you any further but only to the boundaries of your own sanity. locked in your own head, but thinking into infinity gives us joy and freedom. so maybe thoughts are not really what makes the world go around? maybe they are. i do not know.

but true is, that there are boundaries. weird sitaution between me and my dream i guess. you know it will never happen but strangely enough you will always come closer. i do have to run anyway. away from time and away from forgetting. understanding you does not stop time or end my forgetfullness if anything at all.

but showing others empathy and trust brings us so far that we stop searching:
searching for what i actually mean. seeing.

and seeing is not limited to eyesight. not even limited to your body. but at its core to your soul and everything that depends on it. it is possible i will forget who i am or who i want to be only because im busy trying to see. i am caught by my own dream. those thoughts probably mirror reality in their own way. they can be used for everyone and everything. at least i think so. beyond hat thought, there will always be more. infinity. completeness also means seeing everything at once for a moment. but that one moment can also be infinity and fool us to be transient. transience creates value. do i therefore lose the value of my thoughts if i could see everything at once? i do not hope so because everything that keeps me going is not my feelings or thoughts but seeing myself in a position where i am able to think and feel. it is possible i will forget who i am or who i want to be only because im busy trying to see humans. trying to see rules. trying to see emotions. trying to see meaning.

for me, the meaning to all of this is often music. i wonder how we can claim things about our surroundings without sounding ridiculus. as no one can see, no one can understand what the claim even means at that point. but all of us can join the thoughts of someone else with our own horizon. once arrived there, we are nothing more but an extra to their minds and imprisoned in a floating bubble. an opaque, not transparent bubble. only my facial expressions, my speech and my feelings make it outside. we are the inside of that bubble. surrounded by a filter. another boundary. and no matter how hard we try to leave the bubble, we will always stay in the same place at the same time. only the questions will arise. why it is like that and how such a huge coincidence brings me into this situation.

somewhere there has to be the beginning of something new.

i dream about seeing beyond the mountains. but everytime i think, my own horizon becomes a hill.

stuff you dont see
stuff you dont see
stuff you dont see